TURRET

Dear Turret,

You are the most fantastic thing to come into my life in a long time.

(Long story short: Tom's new flat has a turret and it is amazing. We have decided that all of the Couchsurfers we have,  or visitors to the flat must be photographed in it)

Me, Veronika (couchsurfer from Ukraine) and Thomas. I
am aware I look slightly demented here

Me, Annette (Danish couchsurfer),
Lisa (German couchsurfer) and Thomas.

I think I just look demented in
all photos really. Me, Tom and Annette.

I love the turret. So much. 

Sean 

x

Dear Abandoned Blog

I'm sorry I'm sorry for not writing. I've been so busy with work 6 days a week (sometimes 7 if i get in a bank nursing shift too) and packing to move into my flat and all of that business.



Preparo a mudarme!


Caroline and I are moving into the wonderful flat on the 8th of July and I have begun to pack already. Everyone keeps telling me that this is in fact far too early to be packing, but then those people include Thomas who is coming back up from London on Saturday and has not even begun packing his things, but consider I have all of this to pack:

• All of my clothes
• All of my books 
• All of my other miscellaneous things as everything I take with me is what I have - I am only allowed to leave a couple of boxes of valuable books which I have inherited.
• All of my kitchen things (including my toastie maker, my coffee machine etc)
• All of Caroline and Kim's things
• The world and the kitchen sink

I've so far got 8 boxes full of stuff, and that only constitutes a small portion of kitchen things and a small portion of my textbooks. It's MADNESS! 

I have been stealing boxes from work to pack. It's so much
more fulfilling than bags!

I will post more photos once I have completed this endeavour. 

Pilar llega a Edimburgo mañana!

Tomorrow at 9.20am (eurgh, I don't do mornings) I shall be going to Edinburgh International Airport to meet the amazing Pilar otra vez! Es de Argentina y vivía en Edimburgo hace 5 años y estudiaba en mi colegio. She's coming to live here for a semester to continue her studies (law) at the University of Edinburgh so I'm going to go collect her from the Airport with excitement. She is lovely, and I have missed her. All of us who were in that friend group are SO excited about her return.

---

Update: She is here, and has been for like a week now. Also, she will be living in my flat with me until Kim appears in September! Yaaaay! 

Banter.


Everything is peerrrrfect. Thomas' flat has a TURRET in the livingroom, and he got me the cutest most useless present ever from London when he came back, which I will picpostspam about later. We have been living in a life of Simcity4 Addiction, cigarettes and never leaving bed if it is humanly possible, as moving requires too much effort for us studenty types. Amy has been locked in her room and is not allowed boys to stay (thomas and I: the father of her) and (Charlotte and Tyler: the mother of her) have decreed it so! She has put up a notice in her window as a kind of dirty Rapunzel who requires sexual attention. Thomas is a cute and very affectionate drunk, insisting on singing love songs to me while curled up in a drunken ball on the floor, which I duly recorded for my own amusement. Charlotte makes amazing pies. Heather should NEVER be allowed mountain dew. Onions are amazing. So are radishes. I finally have a pet name that does not sound absolutely cringeworthy (And by cringeworthy I mean cringeworthy) and Simtropolis is my life.


That is all.

Sonríe, porque

I thought I'd write an entry in the form of my personal "sonríe, porque" blog. Which means "smile, because". In it, I write reasons that I have smiled, or things that make me smile, then enter word vomit about my life. So I shall do one here, because I feel this blog is a little neglected.

SO, sonríe, porque...

Me consiguió el empleo!!!


Yes, I did. I had a CV day and went into pharmacies asking if they had jobs. The Lloyd's Pharmacy at the bottom of Leith Walk had a vacancy, so I applied for it. Sadly, I didn't hear anything back from them, so I continued dolefully working as a nurse. Until my sister said to me "Sean, did I tell you you have a voicemail on the answering machine from the pharmacy asking you for an interview?" 

THAT IDIOT GIRL!!!!

It was however, fine. As I phoned them up and they asked me to come in the next day for a chat (sounded promising) aaaaand,

THEY OFFERED ME THE JOB ON THE SPOT! MON-FRI!

It is SO refreshing doing it after nursing. Things I like about it so far are:

• There is no need to deal with large quantities of urine and faeces on a regular basis.
• There is no need to deal with elderly patients with dementia trying to escape the premises. 
• The shifts are not 13 hours long and they are not at night or on Sundays.
• The Pharmacy is like 3 minutes from my house. 
• The staff are lovely. 
• I don't have to wear a horrific uniform like the one I have for nursing. 
• The Staff are lovely. (infact, they invited me to some lunch thing on Sunday already, and it's only my first week) 
• I love being able to go into a place, and not be thrown in at the deep end every day (like Agency nursing is on principle)

Todo lo demás es maravilloso!

Everything else is wonderful. There is the very, very sad thing that Libby and Kristy are going back to the US forever to leave us. I have to go say goodbye to her tonight and I am going to be absolutely DEVASTATED. If my reaction to the Turkish leaving when I was in Madrid is anything to go by.  

(I cried so hard I got a massive nosebleed all over my white jeans)

Libby and Kristy. The family will not be the
same without you. 

So last night, it was Douglas' flatwarming, so we all got especially drunk to ensure we made the best use of our time left with the Americans. I will now photospam because it was a wonderful evening in its entirety.

Libby <3 I will miss you
SO much.

There is a perfectly good explanation
as to why this photo looks like this.
We just haven't worked it out yet.

Just because I love this photo of us.

y por lo último. Sonríe, porque...

Everything must get dark. Terrifyingly pitch black before you can see the stars. And when you see them,  hell, are they the most beautiful things you ever did see. 

Ciao,

Sean

Dear Sean Bernard Edward Kernan

Dear Sean Bernard Edward Kernan,

Well, you did it, you finally got round to doing it. It took you years to muttering up the courage to part with it, but you did. I am so proud that you managed to find the strength to take something so intrinsic to you, and something so part of you, and remove it from you entirely. Of course, it's still going to be there in the background on paper, though not required.

Well done.

You will always be remembered for being brave enough to finally do that which you always wanted to.

Lots of love 

Sean Edward James Stewart

The Rage.

Dear all illnesses and afflictions that have ever affected me,

Fuckyou


I sound like I am in a terrible mood right now, blog, and do you know why that is? It is because I am in a terrible mood. I have manflu, feel sick, and weak and feverish and horrible and barely lucid; but I needed to vent, because in such a state I am prone to bouts of The Rage.

Object of my rage today: UneducatedARSEHOLESONWEBSITESTHATSHOULDNOTEVENBEALLOWEDTHERIGHTTOFREESPEECH.

So on this gay website, this member posts a blog talking about how he has HIV, and how he in fact got it from his cheating arsehole of an ex rather than from his own "carelessness" as many people would assume. He talks about how he believes (bar condoms, obviously) Education is the greatest defence against the illness, something I entirely agree with. He is being reasonable and honest and helpful to all, then this ARSEHOLEONTHEWEBSITETHATDOESN'TDESERVEFREESPEECH pipes in "YOU ARE A WHORE AND WILL DIE A PAINFUL DEATH."

I got The Rage. The ignorant cunt.

My fingers are beginning to hurt with how much rage I am typing at him right now. I will likely say something utterly offensively raging and get banned (again: I was banned last week for getting The Rage at some racists) but it will so be worth it.


You know, The rage is quite fun, I should get manflu more often.


Actually, scrap that, maybe not. I should just get The Rage more often.


Ciao

x


P.S. Plan-quit-smoking is intensely painful... keep going through it sean... keep going.

Sushi and Beltane. Such an obvious combination.

Dear Friend,

Sushi

Did you ever have that food you were never allowed as a child? Or the food your parents disapproved of so you never ever even tried? Mine was Sushi. My mother thinks that raw fish is atrocious and I never had it. Until I came to uni. The moment I tried my first Cucumber maki, I was HOOKED. Tamago Nigiri, Inari Nigiri, Vegetable California Rolls, Avocado Maki, ALL OF IT (whichissuitableforvegetarians). Unfortunately it is a very expensive food, so I decided to try my hand at making my own. And as usual, I was excellent at it. So I made loads for myself and Caroline, and then loads for the Royal Wedding Celebrations at College Wynd, and have become quite the master at Maki. Nigiri is harder: I did it, but it was too much effort forming the rice base individually. I may cheat and buy a mould. 

First try at making sushi. Cucumber Maki

Cucumber Maki, Avocado Maki, Tuna Maki and Spicy Tofu
Maki. WIN.

Beltane

Since I was young, for some reason, the 1st May has always been quite an important day to me. This is not really about Beltane; but my family always inferred it was a day of rebirth or new starts in a way. My aunt used to insist we wash our face in the morning dew at sunrise to be beautiful for a year (to this day, I have not yet, though I am beginning to wonder...) and it was the beginning of summer and tending to gardens and vegetables and drinking wine out on the porch and sitting in the evening sun and barbecues and tans and everything else fun. 




So, last night I went to the Beltane Fire Festival Celebrations up Calton Hill with Duncan and met Kim, Libby and the gang and got almost burnt to death by the heat coming off the bonfire and watching the performances of all the people. It was really fun, and quite surreal. 

We had such a good view

And it made me think, that I should use this opportunity to have my New New Year. 


My dad had a heart attack the other day and is in the Aberdeen Royal Infirmary Intensive Coronary Care Unit, and it really hit home to me. All genetics considered, I have a shit heart. Well, as if I didn't know this already, given that I have an arrythmia at the age of 19; but it hit home that it's not "Only half of my genes are shit for my heart". It is both. I've been doing a bit more exercise and things recently anyway, but this has begun the start of a health kick, I think.




Customising My Mac Like the Faggot I am

I am a faggot for cute things and have completely cuted up my Mac. <3 Which, by the way, I have named Aurora. 

Also, on the note of cute things. I watched the film "Babies" a few weeks ago and it is the CUTEST THING EVER. But it got me all broody afterwards. Being a broody gay man is so not cool. (Itsois)

I have little more to say. I will blog about the Royal Wedding Celebrations and Caroline Kim and I deciding to go out dressed like the Mafia later on when she uploads photos. 

Love to all 

Sean 

xxx

Dear Me

So the other day I was tidying out my room (I have had to throw out pretty much like 60% of my belongings) in preparation for moving into the flat in July. The flat itself is beautiful. If you tried to go look at it at some point over the past few day's you'd be oblivious to it due to the large amount of this:

A stock photo; but generally the state of affairs.

But if you were a massive creep and managed to break into it, you'd see this: 

Beautiful flat. Beautiful beautiful. The only reason there's only one photo is that the rest got taken down off the website when we secured it! Sad! But there will be plenty photos when we move in.

I shall be living with the lovely Kimbers and Caroline in our aforementioned beautiful flat on Potterrow.  The location is IDEAL: I mean, I can see my lecture theatre from the bedroom window. The issue is, that my mum is selling the Family flat in Leith either during or just after the summer. This means whatever I take with me, is what I am taking and what I have. She's looking at two bedrooms for after the sell, so this time I fly the nest I have to go, and I can't turn back. I've had to throw away so many things I'd rather keep for memory sake; but there's simply not room for them. I feel a little better knowing that the flat is round the corner though (timescale wise). Our levels of psychosis and excitability mean that we are all highly anticipating the move with vigour:

Well, Caroline and I are. Kim just looks a little exasperated.

SO, When I was cleaning out stuff, I found a lot of old diaries (which I did not throw out) and read through some. There were some from when I was like 14, where I just laughed at my naivety, then ones from when I was like 16 where I just laughed at my naivety, then ones from when I was 17 where I just laughed at my naivety. Ones from my 18th birthday where I laughed at my stupidy. So on, so on, ones from June, July, August, September, October, November, December last year where I laughed at my stupidity. Ones from January, February, March where I laughed at my stupidity and naivety. Retrospect is a powerful tool, we grow personally at such a rate, even within weeks we can laugh at ourselves, see our outrageous little mistakes and gaps in judgement. Or big gaps in judgement. I realised this especially when I correlated my diary entries with Die Liste at the back (so renamed due to Teresa). 


What else? Everything is gooood. I have been watching Will and Grace compulsively between shifts at work which seem to be becoming increasingly chaotic (both the former and latter) with all the budget cuts. I have some ironing to do, so I shall scram now. 




Ciao 


xxx